So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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