I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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