i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I've blown a few things in my day
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
