What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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