He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
