What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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