I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
