She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
