Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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