Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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