im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
