Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
