You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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