this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize