Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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