Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
