this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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