Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
