they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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