this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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