spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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