We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
