I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
