Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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