i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
