In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
