i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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