i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
cat food counts as protein by the way
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
