Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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