You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
