I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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