What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize