and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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