ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
