I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He did a backflip because drugs
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