i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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