i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize