Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
