I heard we made out
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
