Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
pray to the hookup gods
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
