Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
