It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
