There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I don't think brook has ever known best
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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