Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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