He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
