I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
