my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
