The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
