Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
