Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
we're so committed to being not committed
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
