We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize