you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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