New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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