It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
