And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We got so high we made milksteak
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
