i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
