I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
