why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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