I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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