do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
