I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
