he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
