hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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