yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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